Let Your Athlete Take the Lead

College coaches are not just recruiting athletes—they’re recruiting families. How you handle yourself in this process matters as much as your child’s talent. The best thing you can do is empower your child to own their journey, support them unconditionally, and trust the process. After all, the ultimate goal isn’t just winning—it’s helping your child grow into a successful, resilient, and well-rounded individual.

Liked this post? Share with others!

As parents, you want the best for your child—especially when it comes to their athletic career. But when it comes to the college recruiting process, stepping too far into the driver’s seat can do more harm than good. Coaches at top programs like UConn, Howard, and others have made it clear: the behavior of parents can make or break a young athlete’s future.

Here are some lessons from top coaches to help you support your child in the right way:

1. Be a Parent, Not a Manager

Your role is to support and guide—not negotiate playing time, positions, or NIL deals. Howard University’s Kenny Blakeney shared how parents’ over-involvement often creates entitlement in players, which can seep into team dynamics and disrupt the culture. Coaches like Dan Hurley from UConn even pass on talented players if their parents are overly demanding. Remember, your child’s success comes from their effort and character, not your ability to intervene.

2. Model Positive Behavior

Your actions—whether at games, in conversations with other parents, or in interactions with coaches—set the tone for your child. Coaches observe how you act in the stands or in team settings. Are you someone who fosters teamwork, or do you air grievances and push for special treatment? Teaching your child to value hard work and resilience over blame can shape their long-term success.

3. Focus on Growth Over Glory

The college experience is about more than just basketball. Players who thrive often embrace education, mentorship, and the life-changing opportunities that come with being part of a team. Blakeney emphasizes helping players build a foundation for the next 40 to 50 years of their lives—not just their time on the court. Encourage your child to value academics, internships, and relationships that will benefit them long after their playing days are over.

4. Teach Accountability

When your child faces challenges, resist the urge to immediately blame the coach or the program. Instead, encourage them to work harder and adapt. As Hurley points out, parents who hold their children accountable—rather than coddling them—help them grow as both athletes and individuals.

5. Let Your Athlete Take Ownership

Ultimately, your child needs to learn how to advocate for themselves, handle adversity, and make decisions about their future. Over-managing their path undermines this growth. Coaches like Brenda Frese of Maryland stress the importance of letting young athletes find their own way while providing loving support from the sidelines.

Final Thoughts

College coaches are not just recruiting athletes—they’re recruiting families. How you handle yourself in this process matters as much as your child’s talent. The best thing you can do is empower your child to own their journey, support them unconditionally, and trust the process. After all, the ultimate goal isn’t just winning—it’s helping your child grow into a successful, resilient, and well-rounded individual.

Subscribe to our newsletter

Join Hooperz Today! Click Below to learn more.

Learn how we helped 100 top brands gain success